I've been thinking about that a lot these last couple of weeks. If anything, Hadley is my biggest motivation to be better and knowing that what I'm putting in my body still has the potential to affect her has really been weighing on my mind. I don't want her to have to face the same struggles that I have. My relationship with food is my biggest struggle and I've struggled with that my entire life. I DO NOT want that for my daughter. I want her to have a healthy relationship with food from the start and the only way to accomplish that is to teach her. I can't try to teach her something I don't know myself. It just doesn't work that way. So, these last couple of weeks have brought some better changes in my eating habits. Tim and I stopped going to eat out and we started cooking at home. Okay, by we I mean Tim - he does most of the cooking around here. We have also tried to cut out processed foods and sugars. He has done way better in that area than I have. I have a bad sweet tooth and detoxing from sugars is super hard for me. I may have had a few slip ups here or there. Tim does a really good job of keeping me accountable though and I've been doing a lot better in that area.
My focus this time around has changed a bit. I still want to lose weight but it's not even what I think about anymore. I've weighed myself twice in the 5 weeks I've been home. I used to weigh every day. At this point, I just want to be healthy and I don't really care what my body looks like. I know that my body will follow. Right now I'm just concentrating on nutrition and trying to figure out how to eat. It's sad that I'm 28 years old and I really don't know the first thing about eating healthy. When I saw success before it was because I had someone or something telling me what to eat, be it the HCG manual or a trainer. This time I'm on my own and I have to figure out how to do it in order to see the long term success I want. Eventually I want to get back to the gym and start exercising but for now I'm content just going on evening walks with my family. We try to get out and walk at least every other night if not every night. For now, that's good enough.
Anyway, all that being said I still think it's a good idea to have an awareness of my progress, because weight loss is still good motivation, so I've uploaded some visual aides. Before I got pregnant I weighed 337 pounds, as far as I know. These pictures (below) were taken in August of 2015 when my Aunt and Uncle came to visit us. I really hadn't weighed myself for a few months before these pictures were taken so I'm guessing I was above the 337 but I can't say for sure. Either way, I was huge.
This picture was taken while I was pregnant, two days before I delivered, and I weighed 311 pounds. I got all the way down to 301 but those last four weeks of pregnancy saw an increase in weight. My midwife assured me it was water retain-age and normal baby growth. (This picture makes me miss my bump a little.) It was the healthiest I'd felt in a long time. I actually felt beautiful when I saw this picture.
These pictures I took today - five weeks postpartum. I weighed in this morning at 290 - that's 47 lbs down from 337. I haven't seen numbers like this since I did HCG back in 2013. This time I haven't even been dieting - just trying to eat better and walking around the neighborhood. It's invigorating knowing that I accomplished this on my own.