Sunday, July 26, 2015

Weekend High's and Low's

Oh man what a crazy weekend this has been.  Friday morning started out great.  I weighed in and I had officially lost the weight I had gained the previous week plus dropped another pound which put me at 14 pounds down.  Tim and I also got up at five and went to the gym and killed our leg workout.  Well, we actually just killed our legs.  Walking down the stairs after was a fun experience, haha.  I actually went to work pretty pumped and feeling good, finally, about where I was.  I was even excited about the lunch and dinner Tim and I had packed.  It was going to taste so good!  And it was healthy. 

When I got to work I put my stuff down at my desk, grabbed my lunch box, and headed to the break room to put my food in the fridge.  When I opened the door to the break room, there was a whole counter full of chocolate dishes including cake, fudge, brownies, cookies, and anything else you could think of.  It literally was like being sucker punched - I was so not expecting to see that.  Now normally I would grab a plate and take a piece of everything thing there.  At that particular moment, all I could do was stare.  Immediately people kept trying to pawn these sweets off on me.  I said no, which was incredibly hard for me to do, and just concentrated on putting my lunch away and getting my ice water.  I made the mistake of sitting down at a table and this woman I work with brought me a piece of cake.  Literally she kept shoving it in my face and trying to tell me that I could have just a little piece and I would be fine.  Our activity committee had put up flyers for people to bring in dishes for the call center to judge and the winner would win a price.  So this lady was trying to get as many people as possible to eat her cake so she could get them to vote.  I ate the freaking cake.  Plus a brownie.  Plus white chocolate drizzled popcorn.  Oh my gosh, I seriously couldn't say no anymore.

Then, we had to do some training so the managers pulled about 15 people off the phones, myself included, and put us in this tiny training room that was standing room only by the time we all got in there.  Then they brought in pizza for us.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to resist eating one of your favorite foods when you are stuck in a small room and literally every person surrounding you is eating pizza?  It was damn impossible.  So I ate the freaking pizza.

When I left work, I was so angry with myself and my work.  Ultimately it's up to me to have the willpower to say no -  but they don't make things easy on a fat kid.  Holey Moley.  Really I was more disappointed that I had felt so good and accomplished on my way to work and it was all ruined within the first five minutes of me being there.  It probably wouldn't have been that bad if I had stuck to one slice of pizza and one chocolate item - But I couldn't.  I ate the first one and I couldn't keep myself from eating more.  This is why I don't allow myself to have cheat days.  Because I have no self control when it comes to eating sweets and things like that.  I beat myself up pretty good about this whole situation but then I realized that it was one day.  That one day doesn't set the rest of my life and I could make tomorrow a better one.  And I did.

That Friday night, actually about two Saturday morning, my cousin Zac and his fiance Haley came up from Utah to visit.  We always have such a blast when we get together so when he called and told me they were planning on coming up I was really excited.  We fit as much fun into this weekend as we could.

We mostly spent time catching up, and getting excited because Zac and Haley are newly engaged.  Saturday we also went floating the Boise river.  It was about a three hour float but we had such a blast.  My legs were so sore though from our workout the day before and then all the paddling we did made my arms just as sore today.  I seriously had no idea just how hard it would be - it's a lot of work.  I actually ended up getting a rash on my arms from the tube.  Saturday was hot out and it felt so good to be out and in the water.  We were all so beat by the time we got done that we pretty much came home and crashed.

Zac's Just going to love me for this!  Haha



 LOL, I don't know what's up with his facial expressions.
 



Today was just your typical Sunday morning.  We just kinda took it easy this morning before bidding farewell to my cousins so they could head home.  Then it was just life back to normal.  We did some grocery shopping, meal prepping, and the ever fun laundry.

The best news, however, is that even with the binging on Friday I lost another 3 pounds so now I'm down a total of 17!!  Only three more pounds until I'm down 20.  I cannot wait for that first milestone.  This time around, this journey has been a struggle.  I'm still here, standing strong, and pushing forward.

5 comments:

  1. Jenea, I am glad you lost some additional weight BUT you need to stop your scale habit. Choose a day and weigh yourself that morning, and that morning only, each week. So, if you weighed in today, wait one full week before doing it again. It will give you a much more realistic picture of your progress and you won't be setting yourself up for unrealistic expectations. Very frustrating on the workplace food situation. Maybe you should practice polite but firm declines to say the next time someone tries to force chocolate on you. Eileen

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    1. Thanks for the tips! I think you're right about the firm declines and I think that's probably what my problem was. I'm definitely going to be practicing this in the future. As far as my weight loss goes - I don't really have any expectations. I don't have a pound goal and I know I'm not going to lose everyday - and sometimes I don't. I'm really just focusing on one day at a time making sure that I'm eating what I'm supposed to and drinking enough water. I also don't weigh in every day. I don't like weighing in once a week because I want to make sure that I'm on track. I weigh in every three days or so just to see how I'm doing and that seems to work pretty well for me.

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    2. I will say, that in the beginning I was weighing every day. I completely understand how that could be a bad habit - because it was. When I stopped losing and actually gained a couple I was so discouraged. Had I waited, and not weighed in every single day, I might not have been as discouraged. So thank you for the advice!

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  2. Oh the food pushers! Even my own kids will say, "Taste this Mom, it's SO good!" I visited a friend recently, on a hot sunny summer day. We were floating in her pool when she offered me a drink, a frosty alcoholic blended drink. It sounded so good, but I know myself well, and I know that I gain weight just by looking at alcohol, plus it totally wipes out my willpower and I tend to eat things I shouldn't when I have a drink. So I declined. Politely. She persisted, offered again and again. She is a slim little thing, and has absolutely no idea about The Struggle. The thoughts I battle, the longing I have to just be a normal person who can eat normal food and normal amounts of dessert and a drink here and there and maintain a normal weight. But, alas, I am ME, and this is my lot in life. I have no doubt I will spend my whole life saying, NO, when with all my heart I am wanting to say YES. It isn't fun, but you know, it makes it easier to know I am not alone, and I am very thankful for your honesty:) Maybe you should tell your co-workers that you have developed an allergy to chocolate and wheat:) Congrats on the weight loss!!! It IS a nice feeling to get on that scale and not want to throw it out the window.

    Della

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    1. I think you and I have the same lot in life! It's hard for me to come to grips with the fact that I can't just eat what I want. Unfortunately, I will always have to watch what I eat for the rest of my life. The good news is that we can still eat some pretty amazing things. I also think my biggest problem with the food pushers is that I am too nice. I say no and then laugh it off. I think had I been more vocal about my reasons why I was saying no then she wouldn't have pushed so hard. I could be wrong - but I think I'm going to work on that going forward.

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