Saturday, June 28, 2014

Emotionally Crazy Day

When I woke up this morning I had no idea that today would turn out the way it did.  I mentioned a couple blog posts ago that my former step-parent has shown back up in our lives and is trying to get in touch with my mother.  Today it just so happens I was running errands with my mother when she got a call from a former co-worker telling her that this person had attempted to find her at her former job.  At this point she made the decision to contact him to see what he wanted so he would leave her alone.  I objected, loudly, and was overruled.  She ended up using Tim's phone to call and she put it on speaker phone so I could hear part of the conversation. 

To make a long story short, he claims he's having a lot of life problems and he's feeling remorse for the way he treated us all.  He's seen the error of his ways and wanted to call and make amends.  My mother spoke to him for a while and then they disconnected and she went home.  I'm not sure how she feels about the whole situation or if she got the closure she needed.  I doubt that she did but she claims she doesn't want to communicate with him further.  I support whatever decision she makes in that regard.

Anyway, he ended up calling back looking for my mother and I answered the phone.  Surprisingly he guessed who I was right away.  We talked for about forty minutes and in that time, without going into the whole conversation, I was able to ask him why.  Why did he treat my family the way he did?  He gave me an answer and while it wasn't at all what I was expecting.  He didn't give me excuses or claim it never happened.  Instead he broke down and took full responsibility for his actions. 

I can't say for certain if he was genuinely sincere or not or if there's some other motive behind his wanting to contact us all after so many years.  I hope he is genuine but regardless I feel like I can finally move on.  I guess I understand why my mom wanted to reach out to him after all.  I finally have the closure I need to put this all to rest and move on with my life.  The man no longer has power over me or my life.  He's not this monster I fear anymore but just a man whose life is crumbling around him.  I can't say that I forgive this him for everything at this point.  But I can say that I'm finally going to be able to work on it.  I know that genuine or not, I feel like I got the weight off my shoulders that's been holding me back for so long and now I can move forward.  This chapter if FINALLY closed.

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