Thursday, June 27, 2013


Summer here in Idaho is officially in full swing.  We are expecting at least 100 degrees a day for the whole week!  I don't know about you but that is WAY to hot outside for me.  I had a lot of plans to get outside this summer and really enjoy the sun but I'm finding that most of that time is happening in the early mornings or late evenings.  I wonder sometimes if the heat will be more tolerable in summer the more weight I lose.  I'm holding onto hope that it will.  I really really want to be able to go to fairs, rodeos, carnivals and all kinds of outdoorsy stuff that happens in the summer time!

On another note, the workouts are continuing to go smoothly.  We had to switch up our workout schedule with Breeze because Mom's work schedule changed and it's getting hotter.  Now we see him Sunday's and Wednesdays.  This week's workouts were amazing.  He had us launching hand weights as far as we could in our front yard.  It was a blast but boy do I hurt today.  I can't wait until I can start chucking the 45's and doing handstands.  I will get there one day and thinking about it gets me pretty excited.

The new diet he has us on is going pretty great too.  The tuna and black beans he had us make were pretty awesome.  I was actually pleasantly surprised at how tasty everything has been.  I was worried that we'd be super hungry all the time because we're eating smaller portions.  I have to say though that we haven't been and if anything it's more mental hunger than anything else.  Apparently I still look at portion sizes with my fat girl goggles.  I guess I need to go back to weighing and measuring my food for a little bit longer until I get back to the portions that are right.  I haven't been going crazy by any means but it's definitely something I need to be more aware of.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Next Chapter

Today has officially been 1 month of working out!  We started with Breeze on the 28th of May and we did it for four weeks.  That's working out at least 4-6 times a week.  Twice a week with him for an hour and then the rest on our own at the gym. 

For that first month we've primarily been working on increasing our strength, motor skills, and building some muscle.  This next month is going to be different and that's what I'm excited about.  Breeze and his trainers are helping us to revamp our nutrition, our mental attitudes, and our bodies.  We are also starting circuit training!  That means no talking during our workouts, haha, just a lot of heavy breathing and sweating. 

Today we we had a great work out doing some up-downs, throwing heavy weights, and working our arms.  Everyday is something new.  We also got our new menu for this week.  I'll show you a sample below for the first couple of days.  Apparently this is a great way to boost our metabolism and keep our bodies guessing.  So for the rest of this month we are going to be experimenting with a different menu which Breeze and his helpers are going to prepare for us.  He told us today to be prepared to see some weight loss!  I'm all over that that like white on rice!  I'm so excited to start seeing some weight loss and to see what other changes my body has in store for me.  I'll make sure to keep you posted.   

Sample Menu:

8am - ½ cup cooked oatmeal, 1 cup 2% milk, 1 apple
10am - ½ tuna sandwich (1 can tuna drained,1 cup 2% cottage cheese, 1 tomato finely chopped, 2 tbsp mustard, handful of spinach finely chopped, ¼ onion finely chopped, 1 small lime squeezed- 2 pieces of whole wheat bread cut it in half.) Eat half at 10 am and the other half at noon
2pm - other half of sandwich
2pm - prepare @ least 1 cup uncooked rice- eat 1/2 cup cooked whole grain brown rice, 2 whole eggs
4pm - 1 cup rinsed and chopped raw broccoli
6pm - ½ cup whole grain brown rice, 1 cup of roasted chicken breast

*start a crock pot of black beans in the am, ¼ lbs of black beans washed and rinsed, ¼ cup chopped green onions, 1 cup finely chopped kale, 2 tsp salt, 1 tsp pepper, 1 Tbsp olive oil, 1 finely chopped tomato. Cover until mixture has 2in of water above. Cook on high. 4 hrs.
8am - 2 eggs (any style) ¼ cottage cheese 1 whole-wheat toast
10am - banana ½ cup cooked oatmeal
12pm - ¼ cup ground beef hamburger patty, one egg, 1 tomato sliced,
2pm -Brussels sprouts 1 cup rinsed and cut in ½ steamed (vinegar or salt and pepper)
4pm -1 small baked potato and 1 cup chopped mushrooms/bell pepper/onions sautéed in water and balsamic vinegar
6pm -1 tilapia filet sautéed in 2 tbsp of olive oil over med heat salt and pepper to taste and ½ Cooked black beans

8am – 1 slice bacon, 1 piece of French toast.
10am – Protein shake; 1 cup milk, 1 scoop protein powder, half a banana, 1 Tbsp peanut butter.
12pm – Spinach Salad; 1 cup chopped spinach, ¼ cup cooked brown rice, ¼ cup chopped apple, ¼ cup dry fruit,
2pm – Not today
4pm – ½ cup cooked black beans, ½ Tuna sandwich (reference previous recipe).
6pm – 2 egg omelet, 1 cup mixed vegetables (Think Color!)

Monday, June 24, 2013

It's Time To Re-Evaluate.

Have you ever felt defeated while trying to lose weight?  I have and I do.

Lately it seems like all I’m feeling about losing weight is frustration.  It seems I’ve lost my motivation and excitement for losing weight.  Today I was catching up on some of my favorite blogs and I was reading Diane’s blog, Fit to the Finish.  Diane had a post about red flags to watch out for as you're losing weight.  (You can read about it here.)  Reading this post I’ve thought about all the frustration I’ve been feeling this last week and it seems like Diane wrote this post just for me.  I encourage you to read her post because I feel it’s important to recognize if/when you go through these things so you can take steps to fix it.  

I’m going to talk about the first two subjects:  Not seeing progress and the re-appearance of old habits.  Since I have completed phase 2 of the HCG diet and I’m no longer on the 500 calorie diet I’ve been in maintenance, or had been as of last week.  The goal was to maintain my weight at the end of phase 2.  I’ve done that very well and haven’t moved, within 2-3 pound range, from that weight.  The problem that I’ve been experiencing, and where the frustration is coming in, is that I’ve not really followed the maintenance plan outlined in the HCG diet plan.  For instance, I’m not supposed to eat carbohydrates at all but per the advice of Breeze, I’ve been eating them.  I’ve also been working out pretty vigorously at least 4-6 times per week.  I SHOULD have been losing weight, or so I thought, but I haven’t.  So I’ve been feeling frustrated about that.
Secondly, since coming home from Wisconsin I’ve been eating out more and more.  Now I will say that for the most part I’ve been eating pretty well while I’m eating out.  However, there have been the occasional splurges on sugar free latte’s and frozen yogurt.  I haven’t always made the best decisions while eating out but I feel like it hasn’t been as bad as it could be.  That being said, I think that’s a big part of the reason I haven’t been losing weight like I could have been.  It also scares me to think that I’m giving up on becoming healthy and that I’m going back to where I was before I started losing weight.  I’m not but it stresses me out nonetheless. 
Now here’s the kicker.  I told Breeze that I was getting discouraged and that I was feeling a little frustrated.  It was singularly the best decision I’ve ever made to tell him.  He told me that the first four weeks of working out for us was not about losing weight.  It was about building muscle, gaining balance, and strength.  I’ve done those things and I can feel those changes.  He said that we should not worry about losing weight in that first month.  He said I was NORMAL.  I’ve been so sedentary for so long that my body has to adjust to working out and lifting weights.  It’s got to build the muscle and the strength first before I start shedding the pounds.  Most people, including myself, don’t know that about their bodies and they quit within those first couple of weeks because they’re not seeing the results that they expect.  Breeze told me that if I stick to my new lifestyle and I continue to be active and lift weights that the weight will come off.  In fact, he’s already declared next month as the month where we shred the fat, as he put it.  We’re going to start circuit training and I’m scared shitless excited.  

Anyways, the point I’m trying to make is that you might get discouraged at times.  Recognize those warning signs and do something to correct it.  Don’t give up because you’re not seeing what you think you should be seeing.  Ask someone, you may just not know your body the way you think you do.  


Monday, June 17, 2013

Father's Day Chaos

I've been kind of scarce around here lately but things have been a tad hectic in my life and with Father's day approaching I hadn't really felt much like blogging.  I've been debating with myself whether to post anything about father's day on here but then I figured why not.  After all this blog is about me and that does include my emotions. 

I guess to start you should know that I lost my father August 8, 2006.  Since then father's day has been kind of bitter sweet.  You see, I also have a step-father who helped raise me.  He's been in my life for 18 years and I love the man dearly.  I was raised in Idaho and my dad was in Wisconsin so Shane, my step-dad, has been there for all the moments my dad missed and will miss.  So on one hand, we celebrate Shane but I also mourn the loss of my dad.  Usually father's day isn't too bad for some reason this particular father's day it hit me pretty hard.  I'm not sure if it's because I just recently got back from Wisconsin and my dad is fresh in my mind or what but I was an emotional wreck yesterday.  I felt incredibly guilty for crying and being sad when I still have Shane here to be grateful for.  I felt bad because I wasn't paying enough attention to Shane, if that makes sense.  To make a long story short my mother and I got into a huge argument and I left for the day.  When I did come home she spent the remainder of the evening in her room and we all went to bed with things left unsaid and unresolved. 

Not surprisingly, this morning nothing had changed and we still didn't speak.  Now I'll tell you, yesterday when I left I went to a friends and then we went to the cheesecake factory and I had a giant slice of cheesecake.  I let my emotions speak for me and it really didn't help any.  I didn't feel better about my situation or my dad because I ate badly.  If anything I felt worse.  So today, for whatever reason, I went to the gym to workout.  I had no plans on meeting my trainer there and I went alone.  I just wanted to put my earphones in and do some cardio.  As luck would have it Breeze was there and he gave me a session and a pep talk.  I sweated and cried my way through two hours of one hell of a workout.  I went home feeling purged and much better about myself and I was able to speak to my mom and work things out.  

Life happens and unfortunately sometimes it's not all rose petals and peaches.  Sometimes it downright sucks.  My first response when things get me down is to go grab something to eat-it's what I've done every time up to this point.  Part of my journey is learning to cope with these situations in a healthy matter by recognizing that there are other options out there-like going to the gym instead of the drive-thru line at Taco Bell.  I'm slowly starting to recognize it but it is a work in progress.  That's why I have Breeze.  The man is a Godsend.  I can't tell you how much better I felt after working out today than I did yesterday eating out.  I hope never to do that again. 

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

I FINALLY Hit That Elusive 40 Pound Mark!

A lot of changes have come about since I started my maintenance phase of the HCG diet.  Most of you know that part of phase 2 of HCG is a very limited diet.  I can only eat certain types of fruit and veggies, small portions of meat, and absolutely no dairy, carbohydrates, or fat at all. 

When I started phase 3, or maintenance, I slowly started incorporating fats and dairy back into my diet.  My weight fluctuated a bit and I gained about 3 lbs back before my weight settled and I maintained that.  Then my infamous binge week in Wisconsin took place and I gained another six pounds.  Since coming back from Wisconsin and working out with Breeze I've lost all that extra weight I've gained plus another eight pounds!  I am now happily weighing in at 285.8 lbs (a total weight loss of 41 lbs from my starting weight) and I've successfully incorporated fats, dairy, carbohydrates, and more fruits and veggies back into my diet without gaining weight.

It took me a while to get back under 290 but I'm very happy that I finally did it and hit my 40 pound mark.  One of my biggest fears starting phase 3 was that I would stop losing weight or that I would gain all the weight I had lost back.  I'm happy to say that has not happened and I'm still losing weight.  I may not be losing a pound a day but I can definitely tell that my body is strengthening and getting toner.  I can certainly lift heavier weights and go for longer periods than I could when I started.  Speaking of which, I found this funny picture and as this described me so well when I started I thought I would share with you!

Monday, June 10, 2013

Good Things Happen At The Laundry Mat!

I'm curious if you've ever had one specific moment when you realize that the hard work you're putting into becoming a healthier person is paying off?  For me, that moment was tonight.  Don't get me wrong, I can see the inches come off and I can see that I'm losing weight but tonight was so different.  A random man walked right up to me at the laundry mat, told me he thought I was beautiful, and asked me for my phone number.  That has NEVER, EVER happened to me before.  Let me start at the beginning.

I have to take my giant comforters to the laundry mat and use their huge washers and dryers because they just don't fit in the ones we have at home.  I was waiting for them to dry and I was outside the laundry mat talking with my mom and a friend when this gentleman pulled up.  He smiled at me as he got out of his truck with his laundry and walked inside.  I didn't think anything of it.  A few minutes later I made my way back inside to check my comforters to see if they were dry yet.  I almost walked right into the man as he was putting his laundry in the washer and that started a conversation.  Just regular stuff about how his dryer broke and why I was at the laundry mat.  Then out of no where he takes a step closer to me and says "I'm sorry, I hope you're not mad but I just had to say that I think you're beautiful.  I noticed you when I pulled up and I had to say something."  What.  The.  Heck?  I was floored, never in my life has anyone ever come up to me to tell me that.  And he was super cute!

We talked for a little while and he asked me what kinds of things I was interested in and what I did for fun.  Actually he was really sweet.  (Insert big cheesy grin!)  He told me up front that he works a lot because he's trying to start his own business while working for another company and then he asked me for my phone number!  =D  SQUEEEE!!!  (Insert Happy Dance!)  I never give out my phone number to strange men, not that many have asked, but I didn't see the harm in giving it to this gentleman.  So I did and he assured me he would call.  We'll see.

This post isn't really about what happened at the laundry mat tonight, though I am pretty excited about it.  Whether anything comes of it or not it's more about the fact that I feel good about myself.  I don't know whether it's because I'm losing weight or just because I walk around a little taller with a smile on my face that prompted this man to ask for my phone number.  I don't care either way.  I just know that whatever I'm doing is working and that my dreams are within reach.  Tomorrow I will push just a little harder and a little longer during my workout.  Right now, I have to go make my bed.  =D

Sunday, June 9, 2013

My Favorite Summer Excercise: Paddle Boating

Summer is finally here!!!  Usually summer for me means staying indoors with the air conditioner because I'm usually too hot and tired to enjoy doing anything outdoors.  Being fat means that the heat is excruciating.  I would swelter going outside and what little energy I had didn't last long.  I'm not sure if it was because of all the crappy food I was putting in my body, my weight, or a mixture of both but I absolutely detested going outside in the summer.  As you can imagine that meant giving up on a lot.  I would miss state fairs, carnivals, road shows, rodeos, literally all kinds of things.

This summer is going to be different!  I am determined to get my big behind outside and enjoy myself-heat be damned!  I figure one of the reason I look the way I do is because I don't spend enough time outdoors.  Yesterday, day 1 of our busy weekend, I talked my mother into going to Boise with me and we spent the first part of the day walking around the zoo.  We even fed the giraffe's and took a boat ride.  Don't get me wrong, I have lots of good things to say about the zoo and we had a blast there but the thing I'm most excited about was the paddle boats.

As we were leaving the zoo we saw a place that was renting paddle boats!  We, my ma and I,  went to lunch and couldn't stop talking about how much fun it would be to try it out.  We were a little skeptical because we're still quite large, even though we've been losing weight, and we weren't sure if we could even do it.  We decided to try anyway and you know what?  We freaking did it!  For an hour, which surprised the lady selling us our tickets.  I'm thinking that should have been our first clue, haha.

We had a blast!  I got some sun and some exercise at the same time and it was stinking fun.  It was literally two ponds connected by, what I can only describe as, a river.  It was shaded with these beautiful trees and there were ducks and geese everywhere.  Lots of little babies and they were so cute!  To be 100% honest, it was exhausting.  We would paddle, paddle, paddle and then we'd have to float for a minute to rest our legs.  But we paddled around those ponds for an hour and our legs were pretty sore by the time we were done.  It was so fun and I exciting just because we did it.  I would NEVER have even tried that in my prior fat girl days.  NEVER!  It was a warm, sunny day and I probably wouldn't have spent as much time outside as we did yesterday.

We were number 23!

You can always tell when we workout by the red faces!

After our paddle boating adventure we made our way home for dinner and then grocery shopping.  It took us four hours to go grocery shopping.  Granted we went to three different stores but reading labels and comparing food takes a lot of time.  Does it take you as long to get your groceries?  We were shopping for a household of three if that makes a difference.  It's funny because now that I buy healthy food I pay attention to what a lot of other people are putting in their cart.  We saw this lady yesterday and she had macaroni and cheese, soups in a can, top ramen, and all kinds of other quick fixes in her cart.  That was me three months ago.  It's crazy to see how much things have changed.  I mean now I'm even making my own peanut butter!

Today was a tad more relaxing but it still was pretty crazy.  I got in a good hour and fifteen minute workout today at the YMCA and then it was off to Emmett for a barbeque with the grandparents.  They have beautiful property there and I love going out there because it's so quiet and peaceful.

I'm hoping this weekend is going to be like many in the summer to come.  Hopefully by the end of the summer I'll have a nice tan to show for all the time I'm going to be spending out doors.  How do you plan on being active this summer?

Thursday, June 6, 2013

It's Decision Time

So I've been struggling lately with a decision to make and I'm not sure yet which way I'm going to go.  If you've been reading my blog you probably know that I started my weight loss journey with the HCG Diet and I was very successful and I saw immediate results.  I lost 36 lbs within that first 40 days and I've been able to maintain that while doing my third phase of the first round.  I started this journey in April and I knew for sure that I was going to do at least four rounds of HCG.  I was so sure, in fact, that I went ahead and pre-bought all the drops I would need to do it. 

After phase 2 I moved into maintenance and as part of that I started working out to help maintain my weight loss.  That's when I got Breeze.  My original plan was to work out with him for 6 weeks while I was on maintenance, then I would start another 40 day round (eating 500 calories and NOT working out), and then I would do another six weeks with Breeze after my 40 days (the break in between allowing me to save money for my next round with a trainer).  That would be my cycle until I got to my goal weight.  Breeze does not support my decision to do the HCG diet.  He's told me straight out that he thinks it's horrible and doesn't support it at all.  He is confident that I can continue to see results and get to my goal weight by working out and eating correctly.  I haven't been seeing the pound a day weight loss that I was on the HCG diet but I am still losing weight, shedding inches, and putting on muscle.  I'm getting more toned and my strength is increasing.  Breeze knows what he's doing and I feel good working out.  My concern with Breeze is that I may not be able to keep up with the cost for the training, even though he is cheaper than most trainers, and without him I'm worried I won't be successful.  This fear of doing it alone may seem crazy to you but I've literally spent my entire life perfecting the wrong ways to eat and be healthy.  I have no idea how to correct that or where to go without someone showing me.  I've only been working out for four weeks.  I don't know what I need to in order to do it by myself.  

So now I have a decision to make.  I can either keep going with Breeze, until/if I can't afford it anymore, or I can stop when our two weeks is up and start another round of HCG like my original plan.  On the one hand, I'm afraid of losing the progress I've made if I stop but then again I'm afraid I won't see the same results as I did with HCG if I keep going.

So my fellow skinny dippers I bring this dilemma to you; What should I do?  Keep my trainer and stay in the gym or start another round of HCG?

Sunday, June 2, 2013

A Walk 2 Remember (hehe)

This weekend has been crazy busy.  Saturday I got up early, which should be outlawed, in order to catch some garage sales.  Unfortunately there just wasn't too many good ones around my area so I didn't get anything.  Saturdays in my household also mean grocery days.  Since healthier eating is usually more expensive than the other crap we used to eat, my grocery shopping usually involves three different stores.  It can be time consuming but we can usually walk away with mostly organic fruits and veggies at a lower cost.  I got halfway through my grocery list before I had to call it quits and head home because I got a migraine.  Thankfully I napped it away and was able to go back out and get the rest of the stuff on my list.

Today, Sunday, ma and I decided that we wanted to scout some of the greenbelt trails we'd heard about in Caldwell.  It's beautiful here today, the sun is out and there's a nice breeze to keep us cool while we walk.  We hit the trail down by the river because we figured that would be cooler and more pretty.  Now we had never walked this before so we weren't exactly sure how long it was or if it ended.  We just started walking.

Before Our Walk

We Were Excited!

This is where we started.

After a mile we found this sign with the route.  We decided to go ahead and keep going.

Mile 2

We Were Getting Tired At This Point

But It Still Felt Good

About a half mile to go

Our car is waiting at the end of the brige, we almost sprinted we were so excited!

The view from the bridge.  These birds were diving for fish.

A Crane!  (I think)

I was pooped after our 2.5 mile walk!

So was my mom!

But we did it!  Not bad for a couple of fat girls!

After our walk we came home and had a nutritious lunch.

So I learned a couple of things about myself today that I didn't know.
1.  I need new tennis shoes
2.  I can freaking walk 2.5 miles!

Now we are planning on making this walk a weekly thing and I'm looking forward to it.  Now we're prepping meals for the rest of the week.  Breeze told us that we can't eat deli style lunch meat because it's processed.  We found a local meat shop and now we're buying organic meat and cooking it in advance so we can eat it for lunches.  Yum Yum!

How did your weekend go?